Admit and move!

Admitting to be wrong for some people is like the end of the world, it seems like they can't just brush off being wrong for once and just get over it and move on! i used to be the same way i would hate to say or speak about something to then find out i was wrong about, but that's just life and how it goes you can't be right all the time, people forget that every other person has a brain too. Some people hate admitting they wrong almost if they were an addict with a drug problem that can't believe he is addicted.

When real turns fake ;)

Recently very recently i found out that i love myself, not in any selfish ways or any greedy way but to me  people that hate themselves so much and turn suicidal are crazy! I always wanted peoples approval and make sure they "liked" me and for that i would go out of my way to please them, but then i learned the harsh truth Hate exists and its as strong as love. So when you have friends you could call your brothers, make sure you test them a million times before you trust because in a second the real could turn fake! when you know your friends are watching you succeed in what you do but what you don't know is behind your back their hating on you, and you will never find out because they have it in their heart that they would sell you out when all you have for them is love. Personally when it happened to me their were two ways to either confront them about it and see their reaction or you stop talking to them, but as pure as i am i chose another route which is to play the game and let them fall! so yes i continued as if knew nothing kept a straight face and a serious one which is normal for me but the sense of trust was gone everything that was being discussed between us has no meaning to me, with that being said i was able to say things knowing their consequences! won't go too deep in my evil ways ;)! but i will say this keep your enemies closer than your friends and oh ya if your friends are fake, revenge isn't the way play the game well! i will give you a hint fake people try to adapt to any person so give them another you and you will easily control their actions.

High School years!

Good old high school, it was enjoyable i didn't really get to go to a real high school i went straight from 10th grade to a college freshman, and man was it a change it seemed that us the high school students in college were having a hard time but not with studying it was with adjusting to college where non high school kids were 21 and older. It was the subject of drugs and sex! truly there is a connection between bot! Some teens would have sex and would never touch drugs and the other way around. For teens that do both they end up being left behind with school and what comes after high school for example college or entering the work field. I think what really helped me get through was staying true to myself, Now looking back its a crazy change and to see some of my friends struggling real hard is even crazier, and whats even more amazing is when i see some of the people everyone knew in college i think to myself weren't you the "Famous" one now get me some fries with that order. Haha true story.

First World Vs Third World

First world against third world! Yes the difference isn't that huge, there is pros and cons to both worlds but that's when you learn that you can't have everything and you definitely can't have both. It seems that people once they reach a social status of money they don't ever look back at what they had when they were less fortunate money wise, but really in a first world country you don't have that sharing and caring that you would see in the third world as if people don't really care what goes on as long as they have more money! Unlike third world countries which might not have the same opportunities. really what i am trying to say is no matter how rich a person could become there still human and they are no different they could simply die tomorrow. 

Egypt!

There is this weird feeling i get every time i think of home, its like i want to be there see what i left and what could have been and should have been! But the truth is what i expect is impossible i want to see people the same as if  i was gone for a couple of days and came back, but now that it been 6 years i am not sure how i feel its hard to believe that some relative passed away, while my friends are doing other things! While now the country also changed politically so it could be a lot different! but i feel it coming that i will be there very soon.

Her!

 I wrote this after i read some messages in my fb and myspace and got a ahold of my old phone!!!
This ones for you, when the past is set and done and the dust settles!! Yeah i think of you, when we both know its better to go our separate ways and we stick like glue you tell me it's love, i say maybe were crazy, but we both didn't have a clue! now did that just rhyme lol, but no seriously this girl was the shit! but really everything comes to an end, On a random day i wasn't supposed to be at school i step in to only notice this girl i never seen before only after minutes to find out she knew some of my friends, So i walk up and introduce myself  as if i knew you forever i felt this confidence that i never knew of. as we exchange numbers i knew this was to be my next girl to text and talk to for a couple of days until this feeling goes away. The more that i talked to you the less i knew about you! a couple weeks go by and we now see each other regularly i have never dared to ask you to go anywhere or asked any questions everything seemed as natural as ever. As time progress feelings get as deep as ever, and as she tells me she never been i tell her i have but never to any like you. As we move on we see the best times and the differences as i come to find out your mother has passed away and that your father as the only part of your family left i came to understand that he would have his say in wherever this relationship goes. Until this day i have never seen a girl as calm and as humble as you are,
 Until you lose it one time when you see your father walked by from across while we make out and he didn't see us!! Six month into this we have worked to block any friends to know what we had whether yours or mine, as for once we both knew it was the right thing to leave us to us and not let anyone in. As time went by we seemed to remember when every touch would count and as the hugs and kisses would never fade you gave me what's yours and said its my first i laughed and said its your last! when you bite your lips i felt the innocence something i have never seen before, when i tell you i can't come and show up and the look on your face was the best, when you tell me i am giving you everything keep my trust i tell you i love you but i can't promise what tomorrow holds!!!
When your Father found out we both knew the outcome, as we both came to the conclusion it's best to move on we come back stronger than ever and i tell you i can't leave you alone,i never forgot how spend that one night out as if there was no tomorrow you tell me you're no good but you feel so good. As all good things come to an end i tell you its coming as much as i wanted the love i had i knew and the once smiling face was upside down, i knew that it was over when i kissed you for the first time on your forehead knowing its probably my last and it was.the crazy phone calls after that and the time to reflect on us was hard but it hard to see where i am now and where i was and i wish i had you now but i learned that timing is everything and we move on !

To the Fallen solider i lost to addiction.

Over the past 4 years i met so many different people! i saw the weak and strong, tried to pin point who is going to make it and who is going to fail as if i was a crazy magician that knew the future and what it holds, and every year over the past 4 years i see the same people with different mentalities and different thoughts and what they did and how it changed them for the "Better". But really was it for the better or not is a question only the future could tell. Anyway this "solider" i met was a year younger than me full of energy has crazy thoughts seemed to me he saw life as one big party. At that time i felt the same way we would both not want to go home and only go after the high we chased. For two weeks we met people all after the same goal where is the party whats next whose house we crashing at. at the end of two weeks i was tired i figured this really ain't what life is about i am going to move on case closed! My decision was totally up to me. days pass i would see him every day same person weeks months and then a year i would still see him and then after a year we met only to find out we were going into total different directions. so i made the decision to go on my way and pave my road, then after a year of total calm I met the solider my eyes locked to his and a friendly smile on my face and a very happy smile on his. To him i ask what's up and get the answer oh not much just chillin man blazing feeling good, and at that point i figured the thin line between bad and good, also between habit and an addiction. Now 3 years later i see the person and as i lock eyes with him once again i see weakness gutter dirt low. hard to explain when you see the helplessness in his face knowingly his future is as dark as ever, you hope for the best and move on.